"I'm So Over It"

I hear this all the time.  You probably hear it all the time, too.  You probably have even said it yourself sometimes; at least in your head.  "I'm So Over It."

Zoom.  So over it.  Coronavirus.  So over it.  Social Unrest.  So over it.  Working from home.  So over it.  Wildfires.  So over it.  Hurricanes. So over it.  Debates. So over it.  Voter Suppression.  So over it. 

We have hit the wall.   We are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  We are so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  We are irritable, frustrated, and scared.  For many, depression and anxiety are in there somewhere, too.  

In sports, hitting the wall refers to depleting your stored glycogen and the feelings of fatigue and negativity that typically come with it.   Some athletes refer to it as bonking.  

In marathon running, it comes at the 20 mile mark, more or less.  Yet, 6.2 miles remain.   If you've hit the wall, finishing no longer seems doable.  

Oh, by the way, Donald Trump is clearly suffering from it.  He threw another fit during his taped 60 Minutes interview with Leslie Stahl.  He seems to hit the wall regularly.  

Unfortunately, this is only the 20-mile mark for the election, we still have 2 weeks to go.  We are at the 20-mile marker of 2020 as well.  But, remember that we are dealing with what could be a series of marathons.  We have many more milestones to reach.  

So, is there anything to do to prepare for hitting the wall?  Is there anything to do once you hit the wall? 

How to Prepare for Hitting the Wall

1.  This first preparation technique is referred to as “if-then planning” ― for example, if you hit the wall, you can use a visualization technique to imagine yourself getting through it.   What will it look like on the other side?   Visualize the answer to the question.  

2.  Break your "marathon" into smaller subtasks or shorter milestones.  Identify the next marker or landmark, go to that marker and take a break.  Reset, regroup, reboot.  Then do it again.  

Take it one task, and then, one day at a time.  

3.  Be aware of your internal state.  Slow your breathing down.  Notice your breath.  Inhale deeply and then completely empty your lungs, then let them fill completely.  Do it several times.  It's another way to reboot.

5.  Distract yourself by externally accepting what is.  Allow and embrace whatever the discomfort is, rather than blocking it.  Go with it, rather than fight it.  

6.  Remember your last experience with extreme adversity.  Inventory all that it took to get you through that adversity.  What did you learn?  What do you need to repeat from that experience?  

7. Forget perfection.  In these times, there is no room for perfection.  If you are going to be "so over it," be so over perfection.    

If you then find yourself coming up against more mental roadblocks, here are a few more techniques to try.

1. Make a motivational or relaxing music playlist. Distracting yourself with some great tunes can help you make it to the finish line.

2. Try the buddy system. A partner (remember we are all in this situation) can keep you (and your buddy) focused and supported.

3.  Try “attention narrowing.” Runners who focus their eyes on an object in the distance get there faster. Focusing on an object on the horizon can make the distance feel shorter.

Remember, you can't get there without getting through today.   Finishing this marathon requires just getting to the next landmark, then the next.  That is all that matters right now.  .  

The Coronavirus: Our Test of Resilience

Much of our intial response toward the coronavirus pandemic focuses on what we can do or can't do. How do we respond? What are the guidelines? What steps do we take? What are the proper procedures? What resources do we have? Our natural response is to look externally. This external focus tend to include questions about identifying who is to blame. What individual, what country did this to us or didn't do enough for us? Fair enough.

What is equally important is who we are and who we can be in this time of crisis. That requires an internal focus. That requires us to identify our skills of resilience, our mental core. What characteristics do we possess to help us respond best to the crisis?

Perhaps our best internal reflections should consist of a personal and individual inventory of our abilities to withstand ambiquity and uncertainty as well as our ability to be flexible and nimble as our external environment shifts around us and situations change. How do we keep from responding with our lizard brain?

So, what is resilience? How do we assess our mental core?

Resilience refers to the skill and ability to quickly and fully bounce back from setbacks, to deal with adversity, learn from mistakes and effectively put your mistakes behind you. Only recently has resilience been seriously considered as a component of mental toughness. Resilience includes carefully obtaining, valuing, and incorporating constructive feedback and doing what is required with the resources that are available.   It has to do with your emotional strength.

Resilience also requires us to recognize and acknowledge that, now, perhaps more ever, we live in a VUCA world. VUCA is an acronym used by the US Military long ago to describe extreme conditions in combat. It stands for Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous.

The word "core" in the physical fitness and conditioning world has become a buzzword. Like the physical core, there is also a mental core related to mental conditioning. Physical core training is about increasing power, strength and stabilization. So, is the training of your mental core.

Many fitness buffs often think only of sit-ups and crunches as the secret to strengthening the core. True fitness experts know that there is much more to the core than an impressive six-pack. Similarly, many athletes and coaches think that the mental core is simply just about developing mental toughness (the equivalent of a mental core “six-pack”). The mental core is much more than mental toughness.

The mental core creates a solid, fundamental, and broad base for your overall mental fitness and, thus, your subsequent ability to perform successfully. Resilience requires us to take inventory of our mental core.


So, what does constitute the mental core?


Internal Dialogue/Self-Talk - simply put, these are the things you say to yourself about yourself and the state of world around you. A common problem with our cognitive mindset is that that it is often stuck in evaluation activities when it should be focused on other tasks (such as gathering information, skill acquisition, rehearsal, and execution, for example). Increasing your awareness of your internal dialogue/self-talk and its effect on your behavior have a great influence on your success in dealing with crises. 

Communication Skills- these skills are underrated in our crisis responses. Clear, concrete, specific communication and active listening skills are crucial to our ability to be resilient as well as being effective problem solvers and decision makers.  Paranthetically, this may be the time to embrace technology and our reliance on our electronic devices (computers, phones, tablets, and games) to maintain our connectivity as well deal with the effects of social distance and physical isolation.  We can address our addictions to our devices after we get through this crisis.

Daily Pre- and Post- Recovery Skills - here, emphasis is placed on the importance of developing a set of skills and activities that provide you with an opportunity to fully recover mentally from daily challenges.  These mental skills are as crucial as physical recovery skills. Evidence is mounting that both mental and physical recovery skills (including sleep) are more important than we ever considered in the past.

Systems Thinking - in the case of your mental core, this refers to your awareness and understanding of the matrixed complexity, interrelatedness and connection of multiple factors involved in your behavior and the behavior of others. It also refers to the idea that in order to affect real behavioral change, a system that provides structure and consistency must be put into place. Systems thinking in this context implies that mental conditioning and strengthening of your mental core requires you to become a student of mental conditioning, cognitive processes, and behavioral psychology.  It suggests the importance of interconnectivity of things as well as people.


Anxiety Management - refers to the idea that 1) anxiety is a part of life; 2) mental fitness includes the acknowledgment and management rather than the eradication of anxiety; 2) that excitement and anxiety can be two words for the same thing; and, 3) the goal of mental conditioning can't and shouldn't be to eliminate anxiety but to use it.


Emotional Intelligence - emotional intelligence (and related skills) is an important and necessary component of resilience. Emotional intelligence involves the understanding of the critical role that emotional information and social interactions play in crisis situations and success. Evidence suggests that emotional intelligence is an important characteristic of effective leadership and team development required in crises.


Confidence - this component of your mental core is one of the characteristics that has been long considered critical to success in any endeavor, including sports and the performing arts. In this model of the mental core, confidence is defined as a general sense that one's skills and abilities are capable of achieving one's desired outcomes. Many people include this component in their idea of mental toughness. Confidence is particularly dependent upon a healthy cognitive mindset. Confidence also involves our ability to take inventory of our previous encounters with extreme stress and crisis situations and remind ourselves of our strengths and mastery of previously stressful situations.


Preparation Skills - this factor suggests that 1) success is related to one's understanding and awareness that personal growth occurs through the methodical process of continuous learning and development of skills, rather than inherent, genetically-informed and pre-ordained "talent"; and, 2) is highly influenced by your desire and willingness to consistently spend long-hours of monotonous, focused, disciplined, repetitive activity to improve and perfect your skills and abilities.


Mindfulness - this important factor of the mental core refers to a broad set of skills that include mental imagery and visualization, relaxation and meditation skills, focusing and centering skills.  Research is showing that mindfulness approaches can be very helpful to day-to-day mental and emotional recovery. 

To close, these skills are greatly needed in this time of crisis as we deal with this pandemic in an effective, strategic, cooperative manner without contributing to misinformation, panic and over-reaction.    

Days of Reckoning for Youth Sports

“Nerves are something a lot of younger athletes come to me with. I suppose they might not have the strategies to deal with it. One of the first things I do with an athlete who gets nervous is I say to them it’s normal to get nervous. It’s usually about where the nerves are coming from and what are they stemming from?

“Nerves are just a reaction in your body. You feel the same on a rollercoaster when you get near the top. Physically it’s the exact same. It’s excitement. On raceday suddenly nerves are bad.

“I usually explore why is it that nerves are giving people that bad feeling. It’s funny cause a lot of it is picturing the ‘what ifs’."

--Jessie Barr, sports and performance psychologist, former Olympian from Ireland.

According to the National Federation of State High School Association’s annual participation survey, sports participation is down for the first time in 30 years. American football, in particular, saw a low for a fifth consecutive year, something that may be attributed to safety concerns. But what about participation in other, non-contact sports, such as soccer, baseball, and tennis?

1. Sports Are No Longer “Fun”

Studies cite many benefits of participation in sports, many of which have to do with the development of life skills such as teamwork, personal accountability and sportsmanship. Of course, sports are also about having fun — at least, they used to be.

Dr. Vassilis Dalakas, Ph.D., visiting professor of sports marketing at San Diego State University, says “I realize many will blame the popularity of technology and video games as the reason why kids don’t find sports fun,” Dalakas says. “However, as a researcher of sports fan psychology, a coach of youth sports and a parent, I can attest that a big reason for [the decline] that many parents get extremely intense about youth sports in their desire to see their kids’ teams win.”

This phenomenon, which he refers to as “Basking in Reflected Glory,” has begun to infiltrate youth sports. The extreme parent-exterted pressure on kids to win takes away any joy they might have in merely participating, developing skills or improved performance from game to game.

2. Video Games

Despite Dalakas assertions video games aren’t to blame, Richard Williamson, head coach of boys’ lacrosse and administrator for Ballistic Sports Group, sees things differently.

“In the past year, I had three separate sets of parents tell me their sons didn’t want to play lacrosse because they were too involved with Fortnite,” he said. “I’ve always had kids who played video games, but at least we had them coming out [to play sports]. This was the first time I’ve ever had parents letting their kids opt out of sports to play video games. Other coaches told me the same thing.”

3. Commitment

A parent of two middle school boys, Sara E. Routhier says, “I think one of the big reasons parents aren’t enrolling their kids in sports is the pressure to commit a great deal of time and money. [In addition to the] the cost of registration fees, equipment, and travel, there are the expectations.”

Many parents claim the difficulty of fitting in multiple practices between work, homework and other commitments is too much to handle.

4. Crazy Sports Parents (and Coaches)

They pace the sidelines, they scream at 6-year-olds (their children, your children, and you), they berate referees (often volunteers), they demand that their bewildered and still-inexperienced child hustle, run, pass, score, or perform any number of ESPN highlight-worthy skills and scream commands that are often in total conflict to the coach’s directions.

Dr. Matthew Goldenberg, a Yale psychiatrist, said that some of the same psychological impulses driving fan behavior also drive parental behavior.

Those behaviors can include “Displacement” – when we shift our bad feelings about one area of our lives to something less threatening, “Schadenfreude” – a tendency to take pleasure when others fail, and “Splitting” – avoiding life’s ambiguities by resorting to black-and-white thinking.

“Identification is [also] an obvious answer,” Goldenberg also said. “Their child’s success or failure is a reflection on them.”

Parents may also be burned out, worn down and short-tempered after spending an entire day attending multiple travel team games, according to sports psychology expert Dr. Joe Ross, president of Huntsville, Alabama-based firm Higher Echelon and longtime youth sports coach.

And the stakes may feel higher than ever because parents spend so much more money on their kid’s sports than parents did decades ago, Ross said.

According to the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, research suggests youth sports game anger is typically triggered when parents perceive that referees, coaches, players, or other parents are acting uncaringly, unjustly, or incompetently.

Research shows that bad sideline behavior at youth sports games is counter-productive. When kids are yelled at, they can experience stress-induced physical responses that negatively affect their performance. They are also at risk of developing mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.

Parents should remember that kids are still learning and enjoy the process, regardless of wins or losses, Ross said.

“We’re not at school standing over their shoulder yelling at them during their Algebra test,” Ross said. “We allow that process of learning to go through. It’s the same process in sports.”

At middle school, Lindsay Lane Christian Academy in Athens, Georgia, basketball fans are expected to be calm, quiet, and respectful. Head of School Stephen Murr has helped the school community was a good example, acknowledging that he does have to address inappropriate fan behavior from time to time.

“There’s an emphasis on letting people know what we expect,” Murr said. “All of our athletes sign an agreement and the parents sign a code of conduct. We don’t think it’s a good thing for us to boo, to laugh at people who mess up. We’re there to cheer our kids.”

5.  Safety:  Injury and Burnout Risks

Of course, safety is always going to be a concern, regardless of the sport the child chooses to play. Parents may overlook possible risks associated with non-contact sports, but many can’t do the same when it comes to risks associated with football. According to the results from an NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll from last year, nearly 50% of parents — 53% of mothers and 39% of fathers — would discourage their child from playing football due to concussions and other safety hazards.

“These kids are going into the league already banged up, and I think parents and coaches need to know [that] … well, AAU coaches don’t give a f---. AAU coaches couldn’t give a damn about a kid and what his body is going through. 

“It was a few tournaments where my kids - Bronny and Bryce - had five games in one day and that’s just f---ing out of control. That’s just too much…

“So, I’m very conscious for my own son because that’s all I can control, and if my son says he’s sore or he’s tired, he’s not playing.

“Because a lot of these tournaments don’t have the best interest of these kids, man. I see it.

“It’s like one time, they had to play a quarterfinal game, a semifinal game and a championship game starting at 9 a.m., and the championship game was at 12:30 p.m. Three games. I was like, ‘Oh, hell no.’ And my kids were dead tired. My kids were dead tired. This isn’t right. This is an issue.” --LeBron James.

James granted Yahoo Sports an exclusive interview that covered a wide range of safety issues such as:  the state of load management, the demanding AAU culture that often leads to injury and burnout, how he monitors his son’s involvement, and preventable measures to ensure that young athletes aren’t being taken advantage of and physically damaged before beginning their professional careers.

“I think [AAU] has something to do with it, for sure,” James said. “It was a few tournaments where my kids — Bronny and Bryce — had five games in one day and that’s just f- - -ing out of control. That’s just too much. And there was a case study where I read a report. I don’t know who wrote it not too long ago, and it was talking about the causes and [kid’s] bodies already being broken down and they [attributed] it to AAU basketball and how many games that these tournaments are having for the [financial benefit]. So, I’m very conscious for my own son because that’s all I can control, and if my son says he’s sore or he’s tired, he’s not playing.

Obviously, LeBron James isn’t a fan of modern Amateur Athletic Union basketball.

The four-time NBA MVP, who’s gotten the chance to witness current AAU culture as a parent thanks to the participation of his two sons, Bronny and Bryce.

Many kids who participate in AAU basketball specialized early—meaning they began playing only basketball before they hit high school.

Instead of spending time honing a variety of different physical and mental skills playing multiple sports in both organized and unorganized environments, they simply devote all those hours (and perhaps more) to playing just one sport, subjecting their body to the same repetitive actions multiple hours a day over the entire year.

Some of the top high school players in the country play approximately 30 AAU games a year, plus a few play on the USA Basketball U19 national team, and that is all on top of a high school basketball schedule that ranges from 25 to 35 games. That’s around 80 games of organized play a year, not including practices, scrimmages and pickup ball.

Early specialization is speculated to be one cause of the New Orleans Pelican rookie Zion Williamson’s injury-riddled start to his NBA career.

James also believes that poor nutrition isn’t helping matters, either.

“And they don’t eat great, too. The nutrition part. They don’t eat well at 14, 15, 16. They’re taking all that pounding and then they’re not putting the right s**t in their body. It’s tough,” says James. “There’s no Whole Foods in those small cities. Those kids are eating McDonald’s, bro. They’re eating bad, and they’re playing five, six games a day. Come on, man. That’s what it is.”

James grew up participating in several AAU tournaments, he says the system has drastically changed since then. He also believes that playing pick-up games, often against older competition, was a much bigger factor in his success than AAU.

“There are way more tournaments, there are way more showcases now compared to when I played,” James said. “You know how we got better as kids? We played against older kids because we knew if we lost, we had to wait a long-ass time before we got back on the court…That was our motivation. That pushed us. That’s how we got better.”

James did not specialize early himself. His first love was football.  He was an All-State receiver at St. Vincent-St. Mary High School (Akron, Ohio). He continued playing football all the way up until his senior year of high school.

While many parents rush their children into early specialization in hopes of a college scholarship and career in professional sports, LeBron’s childhood was different. He believes his most valuable basketball development came via pick-up games, not organized tournaments or private skill sessions, and he continued to compete in multiple sports well into high school.

While James forbids his own sons from competing in youth football due to safety concerns, he did encourage them to participate in sports such as soccer and baseball. Now that they appear to be specializing, he’s concerned about them being pushed to play too much basketball.

“I think it’s just based on if [parents] know you have a special kid or some special kids, you can’t be putting them in every f***ing tournament just because people want to see them,” said James. “But like I said, these coaches don’t give a damn about these kids. I care about my kids. I don’t put my AAU kids in every tournament. We probably play like five or six tournaments a summer.”

The Era of Load Management Begins

Beginning with San Antonio Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich, who was known to give exhausted players a night off particularly after back-to-back games, other star players taking the night off in the NBA has ignited a contentious discussion in recent years as the trend grew.

Los Angeles Clippers superstar Kawhi Leonard became the player most associated with the term “load management” when the Toronto Raptors reduced the amount of games he played in his lone season with the franchise that ultimately led to an NBA championship.

And while load management isn’t an approach many fans are approving readily, the conversation has progressively advanced to questioning what has contributed to this attempt at body preservation.

Former Phoenix Suns head coach Earl Watson, also a 13-year veteran of the NBA as a player, recently tweeted that AAU basketball is the reason players are entering the league with a considerable and alarming amount of wear and tear.

A Guide for Parents

Could the seemingly small things we do or say affect the mental game of our young athletes just as much as the “crazy” adults on the sidelines and their explosive behavior? Are words of encouragement, like, “Just go out there and try your best!” actually doing similar but just less obvious damage?

The book, Beyond the Scoreboard: Learn It Through Youth Sports, Carry It Through Life, co-authored by Celeste Romano, and Dr. Nick Molinaro, licensed psychologist with specialty in performance and sport psychology, provides a way to craft a young athlete’s environment to positively impact their mental game. They discuss factors that contribute to burnout, resentment, and even physical injury.

What a parent says after a big loss can help a child maintain their passion for sport and develop a growth-mindset lifestyle.

The authors say “When 70% of youths leave organized sports by the age of thirteen, losing out on the physical, social, and emotional benefits derived from athletic participation, we have to get serious about our approach to coaching and leading them.”

Romano says that many sports parents minimize and discount the impact of their words and criticisms on their young athlete. Parents may think sometimes that they aren’t listening to us or care what their parents think, but the truth is they hear and see everything we do.

When parents berate their kid’s performance in the name of “mental toughness” or “tough love” kids shrink from it. You can see it on their faces or their body language. Their emotional and physical well-being is bruised. And those bruises effect performance, because on the field their mind is worried about the repercussions after the game, not what they need to do to perform in the game.

Dr. Molinaro believes that “parents are the epicenter of a child’s world from birth. The environment each parent provides will affect, for the good or bad, inherent qualities given to the child by nature.

“If a parent provides feedback with critiques specific to performance skills, encourages them to learn from their failures instead of fear them, and doesn’t tie their love to the child’s performance, the child will, in practice and competition, be solely focused on the skills they need to execute in competition. Ultimately, they will then perform at a higher level.

“How parents communicate with their child, through words or actions, will impact their ability to develop a strong mental game. What is learned in competition, whether or not the player is of exceptional or average potential in the sport, will have significant impact on them. Winning or losing should never be the importance of the process of playing sport. Playing should be enjoyable and executing at one’s highest level should be instilled in competitive situations early on in life.

"For example, if a parent focuses on the importance of winning, they convey to their child that winning is what matters. However, high performing athletes are high performers because they have a passion to perform. Winning is just a by-product. High performing athletes see failure as a growth opportunity, to redefine their skill parameters raising their performance bar, not something to fear or be defeated by. So, if a parent’s sideline conversations revolve around winning or admonishing the player over a loss, they send the message that winning is what matters and, in the end, stifle the child’s ability to grow as a player – they have in fact limited their child’s potential."

"High performers all share one thing in common. They all have a low need for positive reinforcement. Basically, these athletes perform at such a high level because during practice and competition they are solely focused on the skills they need to do. They aren’t worried or preoccupied with anyone’s reaction on the sidelines.”

Self-Confidence vs. Self-Efficacy

Dr. Molinaro states that parents and coaches alike foster the false theory that all a player needs is confidence. Two basic processes influence confidence; both are frequently unreliable indicators of success. The first is “belief.” Many say that what a person believes predicts their behavior. Values are great examples of beliefs. However, beliefs don’t always tell us the truth. The second process influencing confidence are “feelings.” Like belief, feelings also don’t always tell us the truth. You can believe/feel something is true, but that does not necessarily make it so. High confidence does not necessarily correlate to high performance; nor does low confidence correlate to low performance.

Dr. Molinaro asserts that confidence and emotions are overrated in performance.

Coaches and parents often say, “Oh, he just needs a little confidence and he will play better.”

In line with what legendary psychologist Dr. Albert Bandura has said, "what young developing players need isn’t confidence but self-efficacy . . . . The key is what is the truth about an individual’s performance – not what they “believe” or “feel.”

Self-efficacy is based on truth and knowledge without doubt. Self-efficacy is a more scientific approach, one that deals in facts and not feelings. In the model that confidence is essential we see an elemental flaw. Bandura’s findings reduce self-effacy to a simple concept: The key is what is the truth about an individual’s performance – not what they “believe” or “feel.” If the truth is that the individual can execute specific behaviors that is what they should focus upon.

For example, take Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps. His performance history has little to do with his so-called self-confidence. He focuses on a truth that he knows because he’s established his truth through hours of practice – he is likely to swim fast, very fast. He knows without a doubt what he is physically capable of doing and he does it even when he is not feeling great about himself. His truth drives the performance.

After The Game

Parents shape the environment that influences their child. They build that environment with each and every interaction. When the child comes off the playing field and a parent is yelling at them and giving harsh critiques, the child will see and hear that Mom or Dad is angry about poor performance and are only happy when the child plays well.

So what do parents need to do:

1. Parents must clearly communicate empathy. They need to not talk in overly harsh, critical tones.

2. They need to keep any and all critiques specific to how a child performs a skill. Focus on strengths, specific demonstrations of skills, first.  Such as: I liked the way you anticipated your opponent coming across the field. Or, I noticed your head lifting on the down swing with your driver.

3. Use every performance as a time to talk about improving by asking:

• How do you feel you did today?
• What did you learn on the field today that you want to improve on or perhaps do again because it worked well?

4. Keep all general comments focused on the idea of the child having fun. Parents need to foster the importance of joy being linked to sports. If the child fails to feel joy, then they won’t have passion and will stop playing a sport.

5. Avoid talking about winning. Change the focus from winning/losing to growing/learning. Winning should never be the focus, growth and learning should be. The player that is growth-minded will push themselves to be higher-performers.

Hard Work and Practice: The Foundation of a Buzzer Beater (VIDEO)

“I don’t think anything like that is ever rehearsed. It’s just something that happens from hard work and practice. That’s just not rehearsed. That’s what makes it so great. You don’t think. I think if you think, then that’s how you mess up. You just got to let it fly and not think.”

-- Angel McCoughtry, WNBA Atlanta Dream star.

McCoughtry shot and made a three-pointer with 1.5 seconds left to give the Atlanta Dream a 76-74 win on Tuesday night over the Minnesota Lynx.

It was the Dream's first lead of the second half, and ultimately, their first home win of the season.  The win broke a nine-game losing streak for the Dream against the Lynx, behind McCoughtry’s 18 points and Tiffany Hayes’ 20 points.   

Watch the buzzer-beater below, on Twitter:  

The @minnesotalynx had beaten the @AtlantaDream 9 straight times. Until this: pic.twitter.com/PZvTna7uWl

— espnW (@espnW) May 30, 2018

Excerpts taken from:  www.highposthoops.com/2018/05/30/atlanta-dream-minnesota-lynx-mccoughtry-hayes-williams

Is There Any Difference Between Fear, Anxiety and Excitement?

Much of what we used to know about fear and anxiety, we can toss in the trash can.

It isn't that we need to rethink fear, it's that we need to re-experience fear. We need to change our relationship to fear. Rethinking fear gets us back in our head about fear. Being in our head about fear is what created the problem in the first place. 

For many people, the sensation that we call fear, anxiety or nerves (sometimes we call it stress), can stop us from proceeding with whatever we were doing at the time. Often, that sensation is experienced as something to avoid or something to stop. It's as if we can only resume what we were doing if that feeling of fear goes away (and stays away). If we resume the activity that produced that sensation and the feel comes back, we stop again. We wait for it to pass.  Sometimes, we try to fight through the fear.  

Rather than fighting, avoiding or stopping fear and anxiety, it is important to become curious (and more comfortable) about fear and anxiety.  We need to become students of fear. We need to understand that uncomfortable feeling.  We need to label that discomfort as a signal of excitement, alertness; a signal to pay attention, to activate.  It is not necessarily a signal to stop or freeze.

Here are some guidelines for experiencing fear in a new way:

1. Fear is not to be eradicated.

2. Fear is a human emotion derived from being alive.

3. Fear is not a sign of weakness or incompetence.

4. Fear is not a hinderance to be fought or defeated.

5. Fear is part of the natural order of things.

Performance Anxiety

In my experience, there are not too many athletes that use the words performance anxiety when discussing the challenges regarding their sport. However, the assessments that I have conducted over the years strongly suggest that athletes commonly experience many of the symptoms typically associated with performance anxiety.

Because ultimately the goal of mental toughness is to experience “no fear,” why would an athlete admit vulnerability and acknowledge performance anxiety?  It is more likely that athletes will allow themselves to talk about building mental toughness, than acknowledge the legitimate existence of fear of any sort.

Let's face it. If you are human and if you are required to perform, you will experience fear, otherwise know as performance anxiety.

Human evolution produced the midbrain including the Amygdala. The midbrain was responsible for our survival by sending fast messages from our senses through neural transmission. These messages effectively alerted us to possible danger. They activated us to perform a flight or fight response. They were simple and primitive, because they had to be. They were not very discerning. The midbrain signals "Danger" or "Run Away Fast" or "Bite" or "Attack," nothing more.

Do you really want to eliminate that important function? Of course, not.  

Most sports do not involve excessive danger.  Even when danger is involved, you need focus not fear.  

Many athletes try to not be anxious; however, this often backfires. Pre-competition  excitement is necessary for peak performance. Re-assessing the internal sensations you feel in a positive way is important – rather than saying or thinking you’re anxious, remind yourself that this excitement prepare your body to perform at its best. 

We humans have another part of our brain, the more complex pre-frontal cortex. That part of our brain does the thinking, complex problem-solving, long-term decision-making. The pre-frontal cortex interprets and evaluates more fully. However, it often interprets the "flight or fight" and it overreacts. Simply put, the cortex fears the fear.  Fearing the fear is the response that we need to regulate and manage. That is the response over which we have some control. That is what mental conditioning focuses upon.

Mental conditioning makes you perform better so that your response to fear is not over-activated. The process of mental conditioning helps you learn to be activated, but aren't over-activated when your cortex evaluates the situation. It slows down your fear responses so that you can perform as planned and rehearsed.  

One approach is to develop self-talk about what you are experiencing with statements like:  

"I enjoy the challenge of competition."
“This feeling means I’m ready and prepared for the task at hand.” 
“I’m excited about being able to play well today,” 
“This is not anxiety, this is excitement, which means I’m going to perform at my best” 

These types of statements help you reframe the fear and increase your focus. It also helps you manage your thoughts, rather than the thoughts managing you.

Other mental conditioning tools like mental imagery, visualization, breathing exercises and mindfulness approaches including relaxation techniques and meditation, are also very effective in activating our nervous system to perform without overreacting.  In other words, they allow us to act without over-reacting.  This conditioning dampens our fear reaction and produces the conditions for activation and excitement. 

Your ability to dampen your fear response and reduce your performance anxiety, is a key component of strengthening your mental core.

I will be talking more about your mental core in future blogposts.    

For more information about strengthening your mental core, self-talk, mindfulness, mental imagery, sports psychology, etc. download Mindfuel, the mental conditioning app:  http://appmc.hn/1aekztQ. 
 

I Hate to Break It to You, but You've Got the Yips

Some call it "a pressure-induced involuntary muscle movement."   Others call it "a loss of control of your shot."  In most circles, it's called the yips.  

As you may be aware or you may have experienced, the yips are the loss of fine motor skills in athletes. The condition seems to occur suddenly and without an apparent trigger, cause or adequate explanation.  It usually appears in mature athletes with years of experience.  It has been poorly understood and we have, to this point, no known treatment or therapy. Though rare, athletes affected by the yips sometimes recover their ability, which may require an overall or partial change in technique. However, many at the highest level of their sport are forced to abandon their livelihood.  Some are still at or near the peak of their careers.

The yips manifest themselves as muscle twitches, jumps, shakes, jitters, flinches, staggers, and jerks. The condition occurs most often in sports which athletes are required to perform a single precise and well-timed action such as in baseball, golf, tennis, bowling, darts, and cricket. 

There are many suggestions that it is a muscular problem or neurological issue.  However, technical solutions that focus on major changes in technique or motion are largely ineffective.

On a less severe but more frequent note, many athletes go through slumps, some that last longer than others.   For example, in basketball, jump shooters and free-throw shooters often go through periods of time where their shooting percentages decrease significantly or their shooting becomes streaky, or both.  In either case, their ability to successfully make their shots has been altered.  Likewise, tennis players can lose their ability to serve in a flash.  Golfers lose their ability to putt, or drive the ball off a tee.    

Whether you are experience the yips, or you are in a slump, it is clear to me that even a minor shooting, serving, putting, or pitching problem, has its source and/or is quickly exacerbated and maintained by an athlete's internal dialogue; their self-talk.

In my last blogpost, I talked about strengthening your mental core.  Your self-talk or internal dialogue is an important part of your mental core.  

If you take a look at slumps in putting and teeing-off in golf, shooting in basketball, or serving in tennis, self-talk or internal dialogue is crucial in understanding the beginning, middle and end of a slump, or more problematically, the development of the yips. 

The most successful athletes are often the best mentally conditioned.  Their self-talk is either positive or non-existent.   As I and many others involved in sports and performance psychology know, self-talk affects performance.  During competition or practice sessions, the ability of an athlete to eliminate harsh or negative self-talk can improve performance dramatically.  

Unfortunately, many athletes do not or cannot quiet their inner dialogue, particularly their inner critic.  Excessive self-talk, whether positive or negative, is like having fans (or one particular fan) in the stadium, the arena, or in the gallery yelling at you at various intervals right before and during your shot or serve.  A fan who wants to disrupt you might yell:  "Miss it!"    A supportive fan might yell:  "You can do this!"   Encountered at the wrong time (i.e., at the moment you are executing your task) either can disrupt. 

Your inner dialogue during competition, might sound like this: 

"I don't think I can make this."  "If I miss this, my coach is gonna bench me."  "This is a lot of pressure."  "It's all on me."  "What if I miss?"  "I should have practiced this shot more."  "Come on, you've got this!"  "Would you just relax?!"  

Now, your self-talk is not necessarily intended or designed to disrupt.  Often, as with a supportive fan, it is usually intended to calm you or focus you on the task at hand.  It might be meant to provide encouragement or motivation.  Unfortunately, like an enthusiastic parent yelling instructions (or encouragement) to you from the stands, the net effect is that it disrupts your concentration and focus.  Over time, it erodes your self-confidence because the message is that you need last-second help, encouragement and instruction.  It's not a good message, really.  More importantly, it interferes with deep muscle learning and disrupts muscle memory.  Self-talk can undermine all the hard work that you have put in.  

With these types of messages, your brain is interrupting your shot, and your muscles are saying, "Wait, what?"   Because of this sudden emergency interruption, your muscles are saying "I must be about to do something wrong, otherwise, why would my brain be talking to me right now?" 

So, while you are busy talking to yourself, your muscles are reacting to your inner message by either trying to adjust, overcontrol, restrict, or over-correct your shot.  In most circumstances, you will ever so slightly slow down, stop or inhibit your motion  (shorting the shot) or over-correct (by shooting long).  Once you begin to overcorrect during the shot, your regular motion is affected.   Sure, you might still make the shot, but the probability has been changed, often dramatically.  

With enough disruptive self-talk occurring on a regular basis in practice and during competition, an athlete's ability to effectively develop and firmly establish smooth fine motor movements is compromised.  Self-talk affects the encoding of muscle memory through a series of micro-disruptions. With a sufficient stream of micro-disruptions, small disruptions of fine motor movements occur, resulting in an inefficient, and often erratic set of fine motor movements.   As your motor movements are affected, so is your comfort with your shot.  Any ongoing discomfort begins to erode your self-confidence.  Eventually, your self-talk produces self-doubt which causes you to not only question yourself but to question the fine motor movements themselves.

That's the way you forget how to shoot, putt, throw, kick, serve.  It's your inner critic thats attacking your muscle memory.  This constant internal criticism can erode what you have spend hours trying to perfect.  It's a type of waterboarding.  Death by a thousand cuts.

The more that I work with athletes and look closely at their self-talk, it appears that self-talk is prevalent enough to cause physiological disruption in fine motor movements.  At first, it affects individual shots, causing enough disruption in the athlete to miss any particular shot.  If the athlete's self-talk is disruptive enough and frequent enough, it causes shooting slumps; and, if an athlete's self-talk is chronic enough will create a more severe disorder, the yips.

My experience is that many, if not all, athletes have, at least, a very mild case of the yips.  With enough practice, most athletes can overcome harsh, negative, and disruptive self-talk.  However, when self-talk is at it's most disruptive, it can affect even the most rehearsed shot.  

In fact, I contend that any missed shot has, at some level, been disrupted by self-talk.  A missed shot becomes a slump through increasingly negative self-talk, followed by increased self-consciousness about subsequent misses.  The yips are simply the extreme consequences of extreme self-consciousness.  At its worst and most frequent, negative self-talk could "metastasize" into the yips. 

So, what can you do about your early stage yips?  

Be aware that your self-talk is disrupting your deep muscle learning and memory.    Don't let the yips get to you.  Want to make your shot consistently, or serve with confidence?  Want to avoid slumps?  Quiet your self-talk.  Shut your inner critic down.  Your muscle memory will thank you for it.     

For more information about strengthening your mental core, self-talk, mindfulness, mental imagery, sports psychology, etc. download Mindfuel, the mental conditioning app:  http://appmc.hn/1aekztQ. 

Strengthening Your Mental Core

The word "core" in the physical fitness and conditioning world has become a buzzword.  Like the physical core, there is also a mental core related to mental conditioning. Physical core training is about increasing power, strength and stabilization.  So, is the training of your mental core.

Many fitness buffs often think only of sit-ups and crunches as the secret to strengthening the core. True fitness experts know that there is much more to the core than an impressive six-pack.  Similarly, many athletes and coaches think that the mental core is simply just about developing mental toughness (the equivalent of a mental core six-pack).  The mental core is much more than mental toughness.

The mental core creates a solid, fundamental, and broad base for your overall mental fitness and, thus, your subsequent ability to perform successfully.

So, what does constitute the mental core? Here are some of my thoughts.   

• Internal Dialogue/Self-Talk -  simply put, these are the things you say to yourself about yourself, your opponent, your teammates, your coach, the fans.  It also includes what you say to your during practice, during your performance in games, during time-outs, after games. Often the things you say to yourself about yourself are harsh, toxic and distract you from your performance.  The real problem with our cognitive mindset is that that it is often stuck in evaluation activities when it should be focused on other tasks (such as gathering information, skill acquisition, rehearsal, and execution, for example).   Increasing your awareness of your internal dialogue/self-talk and its effect on your performance will have a great influence on your performance skills.  Additionally, it is important to realize that silencing your inner critic and internal "chatter" is more useful that simply changing your self-talk from negative to positive. 

• Pre- and Post-Performance Recovery Skills -  here, emphasis is placed on the importance of developing a set of skills and activities that provide you with an opportunity to fully recover mentally from performances and competition that is as crucial as physical recovery.   Evidence is mounting that both mental and physical recovery skills (including sleep) are more important than we ever considered in the past.  

• Resilience - this refers to your skill and ability to quickly and fully bounce back from setbacks, to deal with adversity, learn from mistakes and effectively put your mistakes behind you.  Only recently has resilience been seriously considered as a component of mental toughness.   Resilience includes carefully obtaining, valuing, and incorporating constructive feedback.   

• Systems Thinking - in the case of your mental core, this refers to your awareness and understanding of the matrixed complexity, interrelatedness and connection of multiple factors involved in your performance. It also refers to the idea that in order to affect real behavioral change, a system that provides structure and consistency must be put into place.  Systems thinking in this context implies that mental conditioning and strengthening of your mental core requires you to become a student of mental conditioning, sports and performance psychology (as well as a student of your sport).  

• Anxiety Management - refers to the idea that 1)  anxiety is a part of performance and competition; 2)  mental fitness includes the acknowledgment and management rather than the eradication of anxiety; 2) that excitement and anxiety can be two words for the same thing; and, 3)  the goal of mental conditioning can't and shouldn't be to eliminate anxiety.  

• Emotional Intelligence - emotional intelligence (and related skills) is an important and necessary component of performance enhancement in players, coaches, and teammates. Emotional intelligence involves the understanding of the critical role that emotional information and social interactions play in performance and success. Evidence suggests that emotional intelligence is an important characteristic of effective leadership and team development as well as coaching effectiveness.

• Confidence - this component of your mental core is one of the characteristics that has been long considered critical to success in any endeavor, including sports and the performing arts. In this model of the mental core, confidence is defined as a general sense that one's skills and abilities are capable of achieving one's desired outcomes.  Many people include this component in their idea of mental toughness.  Confidence is particularly dependent upon a health cognitive mindset.  

• Preparation Skills - this factor suggests that 1)  success is related to one's understanding and awareness that personal growth occurs through the methodical process of continuous learning and development of skills, rather than inherent, genetically-informed and pre-ordained talent; and, 2) is highly influenced by your desire and willingness to consistently spend long-hours of monotonous, focused, disciplined, repetitive activity to improve and perfect your skills and abilities.  

• Mindfulness - this important factor of the mental core refers to a broad set of skills that include mental imagery and visualization, relaxation and meditation skills, focusing and centering skills (that are useful in practice, preparation, performance, recovery and evaluation activities of athletes and coaches). Mindfulness approaches can be very helpful to post-performance recovery and injury recovery.  

Note that there has been increasing evidence that body language is important in performance.  Be aware of your body language; however, I have seen increasing evidence that body language is more of a indicator of the strength of your mental core than a factor or component of the mental core.  

Assess these core components of your mental core.  Start by identifying your mental core strengths and limitations in each of these areas.  Focus on and leverage your strengths while also learning more about how to shore up your limitations.  Learn to use these basic skills to build a foundation for mental core training.

Future blog posts will go into more detail about your mental core.  Please let me know if you have any comments or questions about your mental core below.

For more information about mental conditioning and your mental core, download my mobile app.
Mindfuel at: http://appmc.hn/1aekztQ

Also,check out my sports and performance psychology book, Razor Thin:  The Difference Between Winning and Losing.  You can purchase it at www.lulu.com/spotlight/razorthin.