"I'm So Over It"

I hear this all the time.  You probably hear it all the time, too.  You probably have even said it yourself sometimes; at least in your head.  "I'm So Over It."

Zoom.  So over it.  Coronavirus.  So over it.  Social Unrest.  So over it.  Working from home.  So over it.  Wildfires.  So over it.  Hurricanes. So over it.  Debates. So over it.  Voter Suppression.  So over it. 

We have hit the wall.   We are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  We are so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  We are irritable, frustrated, and scared.  For many, depression and anxiety are in there somewhere, too.  

In sports, hitting the wall refers to depleting your stored glycogen and the feelings of fatigue and negativity that typically come with it.   Some athletes refer to it as bonking.  

In marathon running, it comes at the 20 mile mark, more or less.  Yet, 6.2 miles remain.   If you've hit the wall, finishing no longer seems doable.  

Oh, by the way, Donald Trump is clearly suffering from it.  He threw another fit during his taped 60 Minutes interview with Leslie Stahl.  He seems to hit the wall regularly.  

Unfortunately, this is only the 20-mile mark for the election, we still have 2 weeks to go.  We are at the 20-mile marker of 2020 as well.  But, remember that we are dealing with what could be a series of marathons.  We have many more milestones to reach.  

So, is there anything to do to prepare for hitting the wall?  Is there anything to do once you hit the wall? 

How to Prepare for Hitting the Wall

1.  This first preparation technique is referred to as “if-then planning” ― for example, if you hit the wall, you can use a visualization technique to imagine yourself getting through it.   What will it look like on the other side?   Visualize the answer to the question.  

2.  Break your "marathon" into smaller subtasks or shorter milestones.  Identify the next marker or landmark, go to that marker and take a break.  Reset, regroup, reboot.  Then do it again.  

Take it one task, and then, one day at a time.  

3.  Be aware of your internal state.  Slow your breathing down.  Notice your breath.  Inhale deeply and then completely empty your lungs, then let them fill completely.  Do it several times.  It's another way to reboot.

5.  Distract yourself by externally accepting what is.  Allow and embrace whatever the discomfort is, rather than blocking it.  Go with it, rather than fight it.  

6.  Remember your last experience with extreme adversity.  Inventory all that it took to get you through that adversity.  What did you learn?  What do you need to repeat from that experience?  

7. Forget perfection.  In these times, there is no room for perfection.  If you are going to be "so over it," be so over perfection.    

If you then find yourself coming up against more mental roadblocks, here are a few more techniques to try.

1. Make a motivational or relaxing music playlist. Distracting yourself with some great tunes can help you make it to the finish line.

2. Try the buddy system. A partner (remember we are all in this situation) can keep you (and your buddy) focused and supported.

3.  Try “attention narrowing.” Runners who focus their eyes on an object in the distance get there faster. Focusing on an object on the horizon can make the distance feel shorter.

Remember, you can't get there without getting through today.   Finishing this marathon requires just getting to the next landmark, then the next.  That is all that matters right now.  .  

The Coronavirus: Our Test of Resilience

Much of our intial response toward the coronavirus pandemic focuses on what we can do or can't do. How do we respond? What are the guidelines? What steps do we take? What are the proper procedures? What resources do we have? Our natural response is to look externally. This external focus tend to include questions about identifying who is to blame. What individual, what country did this to us or didn't do enough for us? Fair enough.

What is equally important is who we are and who we can be in this time of crisis. That requires an internal focus. That requires us to identify our skills of resilience, our mental core. What characteristics do we possess to help us respond best to the crisis?

Perhaps our best internal reflections should consist of a personal and individual inventory of our abilities to withstand ambiquity and uncertainty as well as our ability to be flexible and nimble as our external environment shifts around us and situations change. How do we keep from responding with our lizard brain?

So, what is resilience? How do we assess our mental core?

Resilience refers to the skill and ability to quickly and fully bounce back from setbacks, to deal with adversity, learn from mistakes and effectively put your mistakes behind you. Only recently has resilience been seriously considered as a component of mental toughness. Resilience includes carefully obtaining, valuing, and incorporating constructive feedback and doing what is required with the resources that are available.   It has to do with your emotional strength.

Resilience also requires us to recognize and acknowledge that, now, perhaps more ever, we live in a VUCA world. VUCA is an acronym used by the US Military long ago to describe extreme conditions in combat. It stands for Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous.

The word "core" in the physical fitness and conditioning world has become a buzzword. Like the physical core, there is also a mental core related to mental conditioning. Physical core training is about increasing power, strength and stabilization. So, is the training of your mental core.

Many fitness buffs often think only of sit-ups and crunches as the secret to strengthening the core. True fitness experts know that there is much more to the core than an impressive six-pack. Similarly, many athletes and coaches think that the mental core is simply just about developing mental toughness (the equivalent of a mental core “six-pack”). The mental core is much more than mental toughness.

The mental core creates a solid, fundamental, and broad base for your overall mental fitness and, thus, your subsequent ability to perform successfully. Resilience requires us to take inventory of our mental core.


So, what does constitute the mental core?


Internal Dialogue/Self-Talk - simply put, these are the things you say to yourself about yourself and the state of world around you. A common problem with our cognitive mindset is that that it is often stuck in evaluation activities when it should be focused on other tasks (such as gathering information, skill acquisition, rehearsal, and execution, for example). Increasing your awareness of your internal dialogue/self-talk and its effect on your behavior have a great influence on your success in dealing with crises. 

Communication Skills- these skills are underrated in our crisis responses. Clear, concrete, specific communication and active listening skills are crucial to our ability to be resilient as well as being effective problem solvers and decision makers.  Paranthetically, this may be the time to embrace technology and our reliance on our electronic devices (computers, phones, tablets, and games) to maintain our connectivity as well deal with the effects of social distance and physical isolation.  We can address our addictions to our devices after we get through this crisis.

Daily Pre- and Post- Recovery Skills - here, emphasis is placed on the importance of developing a set of skills and activities that provide you with an opportunity to fully recover mentally from daily challenges.  These mental skills are as crucial as physical recovery skills. Evidence is mounting that both mental and physical recovery skills (including sleep) are more important than we ever considered in the past.

Systems Thinking - in the case of your mental core, this refers to your awareness and understanding of the matrixed complexity, interrelatedness and connection of multiple factors involved in your behavior and the behavior of others. It also refers to the idea that in order to affect real behavioral change, a system that provides structure and consistency must be put into place. Systems thinking in this context implies that mental conditioning and strengthening of your mental core requires you to become a student of mental conditioning, cognitive processes, and behavioral psychology.  It suggests the importance of interconnectivity of things as well as people.


Anxiety Management - refers to the idea that 1) anxiety is a part of life; 2) mental fitness includes the acknowledgment and management rather than the eradication of anxiety; 2) that excitement and anxiety can be two words for the same thing; and, 3) the goal of mental conditioning can't and shouldn't be to eliminate anxiety but to use it.


Emotional Intelligence - emotional intelligence (and related skills) is an important and necessary component of resilience. Emotional intelligence involves the understanding of the critical role that emotional information and social interactions play in crisis situations and success. Evidence suggests that emotional intelligence is an important characteristic of effective leadership and team development required in crises.


Confidence - this component of your mental core is one of the characteristics that has been long considered critical to success in any endeavor, including sports and the performing arts. In this model of the mental core, confidence is defined as a general sense that one's skills and abilities are capable of achieving one's desired outcomes. Many people include this component in their idea of mental toughness. Confidence is particularly dependent upon a healthy cognitive mindset. Confidence also involves our ability to take inventory of our previous encounters with extreme stress and crisis situations and remind ourselves of our strengths and mastery of previously stressful situations.


Preparation Skills - this factor suggests that 1) success is related to one's understanding and awareness that personal growth occurs through the methodical process of continuous learning and development of skills, rather than inherent, genetically-informed and pre-ordained "talent"; and, 2) is highly influenced by your desire and willingness to consistently spend long-hours of monotonous, focused, disciplined, repetitive activity to improve and perfect your skills and abilities.


Mindfulness - this important factor of the mental core refers to a broad set of skills that include mental imagery and visualization, relaxation and meditation skills, focusing and centering skills.  Research is showing that mindfulness approaches can be very helpful to day-to-day mental and emotional recovery. 

To close, these skills are greatly needed in this time of crisis as we deal with this pandemic in an effective, strategic, cooperative manner without contributing to misinformation, panic and over-reaction.